Please help with this age-old question!

Over on the right you will see I have added a poll. I need your help answering this question that has tormented me for years. Really, it has! Now that I have children I want to make sure that I teach them the proper terminology 'cause I ain't gonna have no kids that don't know how to talk right, especially when it comes to important matters like being neck-id. So please, do you part in ed-u-ma-catin' my youingin's. I have high aspirations for them and it's going to take a village (as Hillary would say).

Puh-lease help my momma to learn me up right.

I'm all jacked-up on Mountain Dew. Baby Jesus as your witness, you better only vote once 'cause this right here is a highly technical poll that my vocabulary is dependin' upon.

What was I born into? This family is nuts. She wears underwear on her head. The boy would rather eat his boogers than his mother's delicious, well-balanced and lovingly prepared dinners (that lady is a saint -- and beautiful to boot). And the man? He just keeps getting in my face and saying dah-dah. Daaaaaah-dah. Say dah-dah. Soon I will have to tell him how I really feel, "Father, I am not your pet parrot. Take your gibber-gabber elsewhere." Until then I will continue to laugh at them, not with them.