Consumer Alert! Do not, I retype, DO NOT purchase this product! Unless you need one more food to comfort you on a cold and dreary night in front of reality TV, one more tasty treat to make your 5 year old son fall in love with you all over again, one more sweet sensation to create the perfect family movie-watching tradition, just don't buy it, make it, or taste it at your friend Kerrie's son's birthday party in October. It is microwave popcorn's version of caramel corn by Act II, it is yuuuuuummy and it is enough to make Orville Redenbacher switch teams! Stay away from it.If my warning is not enough to keep you from running straight to isle #9 at your local Wal-mart Super Center (isle #3 at Publix or isle #14 at Kroger), may I give you a few serving suggestions?
After popping and mixing in the caramel packet, toss in some candy corn (which I just discovered is sold year around -- Halleluiah, thank you baby Jesus). Having corn in the name makes candy corn a vegetable and thus very good for you. Kerrie, being the good mom that she is, served the fortified version to the birthday party goers; she added sunflower seeds. That's protein our poor, nutrient deprived children would have otherwise done without. Thank you, Kerrie, for keeping us healthy!
No matter how you eat it...Act II Microwave Carmel Corn good!
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On a healthier note, my next trick is Milled Flax Seed.
Found next to the flour at the grocery store (don't ask the isle number, I don't have time for such trivial tidbits), milled flax seed is supposedly the new wonder food. Dr. Oz brought flax seed to my attention a while back and ever since it has found it's way into many of the foods I prepare (but not microwavable carmel corn). On a daily basis I put it in oatmeal, cereal and pancake batter. I also mix it into breadcrumbs and cracker crumbs whenever a recipe calls for such. No one in my house has ever noticed or mentioned it. Oh, except for eagle-eye Kelly, she called me out for it one morning. I told her it was part of the oatmeal recipe and I hated using this terrible stuff because it was so full of sugar! She's never mentioned it again. I use it (with breadcrumbs) to make chicken tenders for my kids. They are delicious.
Note: Refrigerate after opening.
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My last trick is for the moms of young kiddies out there in the blogosphere (all three of you that read my blog). If your kids are like mine they beg you to buy Lunchables. Sometimes filled with a candy dessert, a falsely labeled sugary juice drink and a couple of crackers, these Lunchables are the sack-lunch version of the Happy Meal. All my kids care about is the "prize" inside, the mini-candy bar and the sugarwater. Even Kelly's preschool has banned Lunchables because the kids don't eat them.
In an attempt out-smart my children and save money, I tried slicing blocks of cheese and creating my own version of the Lunchable with Boar's Head Turkey and Ritz Whole Wheat Crackers. Thinking I was smart, I put the food in a recycled Lunchable plastic tray. They knew this was bogus from the get-go and wanted nothing to do with it. We have settled on these:
Coming in at less than $1.00 per snack pack, I think this is a fair compromise. My girlfriend Vic reminded me of the sodium in these little suckers and to her I say: You can't win 'em all.
Do you have any tricks?
I love to learn of new tricks that will make my life better, so if you have any suggestions, feel free to let me know! I suppose I could hold a contest to see who has the best trick of all? That would be totally original and something I have never seen on a blog before. Hummm? Thinking. Suppose I did hold a contest for a family food trick, what could I give away as a prize? Thinking. It has to be lightweight so I don't have to pay much in postage. That rules out sending a kid. Still thinking. It has to be something I don't need anymore and could give away without reservations. That rules out birth control. There is one thing that comes to mind. Before Christmas I purchased three 2008 calendars from this little known photographer (I am sure none of you have ever heard of her before). By the time Christmas rolled around, Mom told me she already had a 2008 calendar and Sue was nice enough to lie to me and say she still needed one. So now I have an extra 2008 calendar signed by the photographer. It is sure to be a collector's item and being only February you can still use eleven twelfths of it. I'll even jot-in my family's important dates for you.
So if you want to share a food trick or give me a food endorsement I would much appreciate it. If you need a 2008 calendar, make up something. And if you just want to make me laugh...that would be the best trick of all!
Gotta run! Nike just called and asked that I endorse their new line of kids' tennis shoes. They have side pouches were you can safely store your homemade lunchable. Genius!
11 comments:
Hey, I have known about ActII carmel corn for ages, of course you probably figured that. Very good at night, right before bedtime, anyway Oprah is the only one who quits eating hours before bedtime.
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OH GOSH...This has to be good...can't think now...be back later with something...uh really, uh kinda smart and...um genious like.
I don't need a calendar but I must reiterate the deliciousness of Dulche de Leche icecream by Hagaan Daas. Rosemary & Olive Oil flavored Triscuits are pretty tasty too. I despise making prepackaged mac & cheese but sometimes it is a necessary evil. I doctor it up with cottage cheese and steamed broccoli, sometimes throw in a few toasted almond slivers and Kendall really likes it. It doesn't subtract any of the 'bad' stuff but the mommy guilt is eased by the added good stuff.
Ummmm....healthy.....ummmmm.
I remember when we were younger, Joe was even more pickier than me and Mom told me the doctor told her it was okay for him to eat his frozen pizza. At least it had cheese and tomato sauce on it. I think that is all he ate for a while.
I'll get back to you with the tips. I will, you know I will!
No one said it had to be healthy.
The best I remember,it wasn't frozen it was made at home pizza, and he said you could hide most anything on pizza if you put enough cheese on it. Lorie, don't you remember having homemade pizza quite often,you and Joe would try to uncover everything to see if there were veggies in it.
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That is funny. No, I don't remember that. I just remember Joe eating lots of pizza. Kind of like my CJ and his Mac and Cheese. UUUgggghhhh!
Okay girls...I am not inventive at all. I make the boys try everything on their plate. If they don't like it (truly don't like it), then they don't have to eat it. You can always tell if the truly don't like something because it causes that gag reflex to kick in. But if they just don't want to eat it, they try to convince me that they don't like it or give some bogus attempt at explaining why they shouldn't HAVE to eat it. (Sorry boys...Momma don't care if you don't wanna!) Once I know they just don't want to eat it, I make a pile of it and tell them they can't get up until the pile is gone and when they sit there for an hour after we have all left, they go straight to bed. (I know, I am a witchy, witchy momma, but I am not going to be out bull-headed by them...because that is all it is with those two!)
But I am lucky, because they can tolerate most things. I don't know what I would do if they truly didn't like a lot of foods! Good luck with that because I have no suggestions, good ideas...or even a nice motherly way to deal with the pickies! If I do think of something good, I will share...but don't wait around cause it probably won't happen!...not on this subject.
Oh, by the way. I love flaxseed...stuff. I have not ever used it though in pancakes though...good thinking!!
Jessica,
I think that is a wonderful approach. Don't feel bad because Patrick has gone to bed (without dinner) straight from the table. I make them try most everything, but they consistantly freakout about onions, peppers, tomatoes and mushrooms so I try to accomodate them when I prepare those foods. It sounds like you're a good momma!
The only one that freaks out about onions in this family is Paul!! He is still very picky but nothing like he used to be. (And no, I never sent him away from the table without dinner...although I did go on a cooking strike one time!) To accommodate him, I use one of those chopping gadgets to make sure they get into the smallest possible pieces and then cook them enough that he doesn't detect the texture. When he still says he can tell that they are in there, I usually only have to keep staring at him with the same expression on my face that I had before he spoke. When I do that he comes back with, "But it tastes really good and they aren't THAT big of pieces." Waa! haha!
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